Live Action ... Deadly Casting

Any self-respecting anime fan (and truly, any self-respecting science fiction fan) has at least heard of Akira, and likely watched it multiple times.  Whether you actually enjoy it is beside the point - it was a groundbreaking film and stands up well over time.  Its themes remain timely and its story has never ceased to be gripping and disturbing.  It is a cult hit and for good reason (it boasts an 88% fresh rating at www.rottentomatoes.com and has garnered respect for more than two decades).

With that as the backdrop, news broke this week that Robert Pattinson (of Twilight fame) was being floated as a possible actor to fill the role of Tetsuo Shima.  Matters were made worse for fans of Akira when the same article noted that Justin Timberlake (of 'N Sync, serial dating and Michael Jackson-esque gyrations fame) could be in the running to portray Shōtarō Kaneda.  OK, I'm not even going to BEGIN to get into the concept that a story set in post-apocalyptic Neo-Tokyo is somehow going to be populated mostly with white actors in lead roles (plenty is being written about this dismaying aspect of the casting on the Internet, see e.g., http://www.moviefone.co.uk/2011/03/24/akira-remake-race-row/). 

Now I don't hate Pattinson (though I have absolutely no interest in ever reading or watching anything even vaguely related to vampires that sparkle), and I enjoy some of Timberlake's music and have heard that his acting is improving.  But both actors are so identified with certain roles and are well-known heartthrob types, it seems that audiences would be hard-pressed to separate their swoon-worthy personas from the disaffected, angst-ridden, street-gang members they are supposed to represent.  Not to mention they are both WAY too old to be playing these characters.  Of course multiple other names have been proposed as potential Kanedas and Tetsuos - but almost all are anywhere from 5 years to 20 years too old for the roles, and most are really just too famous. 

Granted....they both have crazy hair.....

So maybe casting like Pattinson and Timberlake would draw in teenage girls in droves (and 20-something women, and 30-something women, and.... well, you get the idea).  But [SPOILER ALERT], do you really think adoring fans want to see their beloved sparkly bloodsucker transformed into this?

Well do you????  I didn't think so.

Of course, it might be amusing to see Pattinson-devotees react in horror when they see how their idol ends up.  Yup, this about sums it up.....

And then there is the truly terrifying casting apocalypse and surely a sign of the endtimes (I wager that someone can find a reference to this in the writings of Nostradamus and I bet the Mayans predicted this as lead-up to 2012).  The horrific, nightmare-inducing, shudder-causing, nausea-inducing idea of Spike Spiegel - the epitome of "cool", the wonderful, nonchalant, martial artist /bounty hunter from the revered Cowboy Bebop - being played by [it makes me sick to even type it] Keanu Reeves.

This man IS NOT Spike Spiegel.

Keanu Reeves may be a very nice man.  He is fit and has the right body-type for Spike.  But he can't act.  And he is, literally, nearly twice the age of Spike.  Spike would never be part of a meme that has pictures floating around on the Internet like this:

Spike Spiegel wouldn't be caught dead with Dawson.  Spike is so awesome, his mere image would resist photo shopping that put it anywhere near James Van Der Beek.

Now I'm not a religious person, but Reeves as Spike is as close to blasphemy as I can conceive.  Is nothing sacred?

Spike Spiegel would kick the ass of anyone for casting Keanu Reeves.  Take heed, producers and casting directors.